Moksha, The Truth about

मोक्ष
Well. Since quite a few of you have been asking about who or what TeH F is Moksha, and what is the means of attaining Moksha.. I will tell you. It's a long story. Read on.

It was the year 2007, my 2-2 semester. There was a Test 1 the next morning, so as usual I was busy playing a gen 5v5, and I was the host. There was some new player in the opposite team, with the name 'X', who was playing really well. I was curious as to who it was, so I checked the IP, it was 172.17.6.smthing. I thought, "chalu fellow..! Spoofing meera mac so I cant find out.. hmm". I immediately thought it was V143R a.k.a. pachak a.k.a. Anil, because he keeps doing weird stuff like this.. This is to build suspense, because everyone starts asking "Who are you" and some ask "What are you??"... On the 100th query he will reveal himself "I AM V143R, but not a Serpent" but unluckily the map changes at that exact moment and no one could possibly see what he just typed, and he disconnects in irritation.

Enough about Anil, coming back to the point, Moksha. I asked "X, who are you?" X said, "I will tell you after this match on IP msgr, buzz me". So I waited till the match was over, and I buzzed. X said.. I am also known as MnM! "OH a Musician.. how nice", I thought.. Maybe we could jam and play some shitty music together. What does MnM stand for? I asked. "Moksha.. Moksha Notapplicable Mathers". Very nice name, I said. I was actually starting to feel that this was not a guy, so after a few msgs to and fro, I asked her THE question every gaYmer asks when he is interested in someone : "Will you meet me in IPC tomorrow?" MnM said "YES! I'll be on the corner PC in 1138!" Wow. "Tomorrow after lunch?" I asked. "Ok". I was so hyped up to find out who this mystery X a.k.a. Mathers was. I couldn't sleep in the night. (But this was due to all-night-dota) Slept after coming back from the test, submitting an almost blank answer paper (My name was on it na..).

Then..Early in the morning, after waking up at 1 PM and chewing and spitting out some of Alda's toothpaste, I changed my 2 week old clothes, sprayed half of a half empty bottle of AXE deo, stuffed an old veg patty that was lying on my table into my mouth (after shaking off the ants) and proceeded to the IPC. As I entered, my eyes scanned the room. I remembered that MnM said "corner PC", so I went to the last row. All the seats were occupied, except for the one next to the corner. I reached it. And I could NOT believe my eyes!!! It wasn't a guy! I was like.. wow.. I got my a*** kicked by her in CS... girl on guy..! Just goes to show that everything that isn't common in the real world is probable in CS. (another reason why we love the game)

I sat down, but couldn't say anything, I was speechless. Her beauty captivated me. Her hair was shorter than mine. She had these fat glasses with lenses half an inch thick. I also noticed that she was gargling some colgate toothpaste foam, she forgot to spit it out! She was also nervous! Must be because she was so keen to make an impression on me! I was flattered.. I told her "This is love at first (head)shot". She said "blub..blurb..*THUUU*.. ahem. C 1". (You can still see a stain on the wall in that corner.. For those of you who contemplated its origin, I hope this satisfies your curiosity)
From there on, it was just like any other love story। We went out to Cnot and later proceeded to Shivganga. We both used lappies with a crossed LAN cable (using IP msgr for chatting) because we agreed that a virtual relationship is always better than a real one, at least to start off with. I tell you॥ I discovered a whole new definition of 'smileys'. In a month or so, we went to the next level. She added me on gtalk and orkut. She wanted to write a testimonial for me but I said no, small children are also there in my list, it wouldn't be prudent to expose them to all the gory details of our ..ahem..1on1 matches.


Our romance blossomed with all the sweet aroma of a Rafflesia, over the next 2 semesters. At the end of 3-2, due to some confusion, I put 4-1 off and she put 4-2 off in the PS options. But when the results came out I came to know that luckily, I got forced on..! So I rushed to tell her the good news on gtalk.. but there was an offline waiting for me. It read "tatte dahlink!! I got forced off!!! (yes, there is such a thing, that's the first and last time I've heard of it though). So we have one more semester together!" For the second time in my life (first time in IPC, scroll up) I was speechless. But this was probably because I was trying to lick the tear that made its way down my chin and was tickling my moustache. Anyway.. this was what fate (what a noob) had in store for us. :(

On the night before the last compre, we played 1v1 in all the maps in CS till it was time to go for the exam, the next morning. I cried out in desperation "We'll apply for a make-up na...!! Lets play some more...." But she brought me down to reality "You know I don't use makeup.. " So it was our last intimate moment together. I couldn't even bring myself to tell her goodbye properly after the exam, because she had already packed off her comp and couldn't come online. With a heavy heart (added to the rest of my already heavy body, this brought my weight to a healthy 0.1 tons) I went home.. with all intentions about forgetting about her and carrying on with my life.. but I got the news recently (on this reliable news-source blog) that some nooblet named R@G$ is going after her.. !

Let this be a warning to you.. r@g$ or sH@gs or whoever you are.. I'm coming. Soon. And it's gonna be F-ugly. Get away from my moksha. I already attained her.