Gb->High-Larn aka Hype Rakh!

Owing to the numerous requests by fans, Rakhi hype son of Taw felt its his moral responsibility to oblige his fans. He interviewed himself and sent us the proceedings.

1) How come you are so smart ?
A) Ever since I was a little kid...
blah blah blah....
blah blah blah.....
blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... and so smartness came naturally to me.

2) How did you realise you were special?
A) Ever since I was a little kid...
blah blah blah....
blah blah blah.....
blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... I see all the other kids and saw to myself, I am special and thats
how I realised it.

3) Now tel us abt ur extra-ordinary nading skills..
A)Ever since I was a little kid...
blah blah blah....
blah blah blah.....
blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh... I had a flair for bombs. There were times wen I just stay in
t-spawn and keep throwing nades. I get high just hearing the sound of different nades
xploding. You know, the sound of the smoke nade is very similar to that of my fart.
(He laughs... I laugh... Wat an amazing person he is... I am at awe just lukin at him.. )

4)Is it difficult to cope up with mediocre clanmates?
A)Ever since I was a little kid...
blah blah blah....
blah blah blah.....
blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...
On Rags: I sometimes wonder why he still plays CS. One of the dumbest idiot I ever met and wen I say it I mean it.

On Wolf: Hahaha(He laughs... I laugh...blah blah blah..).. Is that even a nick?? I am telling you its a real headache having these 'RED-BUS' people around.

On Luv: Fatty fatty fatty..na nana na nana... he kept humming...

Concluding remarks of the interviewer: 'Here is a true genius with multifacted talent tree.. An extra-ordinary soul trying to cope with the mediocre bunch... Here is Human 2.0 '


Rags commented thus:

"Smart, my foot.. U cal him smart and i cal you dumb.."

"Yeah, he is special. So special that he was in a special school for the mentally retarded til age 16."

"On one thing I do agree.. Bowling has come naturally to Rakhi. Poor thing, always confused between CS and cricket.. Wenever he sees sum1 with an AK, he get ready to bowl, runs towards him with a nade in hand."

"I was confused and worried about the human race de-evolving ever since I met him. Cal me crazy but he is the biggest Fart known to mankind"

Moksha, The Truth about

मोक्ष
Well. Since quite a few of you have been asking about who or what TeH F is Moksha, and what is the means of attaining Moksha.. I will tell you. It's a long story. Read on.

It was the year 2007, my 2-2 semester. There was a Test 1 the next morning, so as usual I was busy playing a gen 5v5, and I was the host. There was some new player in the opposite team, with the name 'X', who was playing really well. I was curious as to who it was, so I checked the IP, it was 172.17.6.smthing. I thought, "chalu fellow..! Spoofing meera mac so I cant find out.. hmm". I immediately thought it was V143R a.k.a. pachak a.k.a. Anil, because he keeps doing weird stuff like this.. This is to build suspense, because everyone starts asking "Who are you" and some ask "What are you??"... On the 100th query he will reveal himself "I AM V143R, but not a Serpent" but unluckily the map changes at that exact moment and no one could possibly see what he just typed, and he disconnects in irritation.

Enough about Anil, coming back to the point, Moksha. I asked "X, who are you?" X said, "I will tell you after this match on IP msgr, buzz me". So I waited till the match was over, and I buzzed. X said.. I am also known as MnM! "OH a Musician.. how nice", I thought.. Maybe we could jam and play some shitty music together. What does MnM stand for? I asked. "Moksha.. Moksha Notapplicable Mathers". Very nice name, I said. I was actually starting to feel that this was not a guy, so after a few msgs to and fro, I asked her THE question every gaYmer asks when he is interested in someone : "Will you meet me in IPC tomorrow?" MnM said "YES! I'll be on the corner PC in 1138!" Wow. "Tomorrow after lunch?" I asked. "Ok". I was so hyped up to find out who this mystery X a.k.a. Mathers was. I couldn't sleep in the night. (But this was due to all-night-dota) Slept after coming back from the test, submitting an almost blank answer paper (My name was on it na..).

Then..Early in the morning, after waking up at 1 PM and chewing and spitting out some of Alda's toothpaste, I changed my 2 week old clothes, sprayed half of a half empty bottle of AXE deo, stuffed an old veg patty that was lying on my table into my mouth (after shaking off the ants) and proceeded to the IPC. As I entered, my eyes scanned the room. I remembered that MnM said "corner PC", so I went to the last row. All the seats were occupied, except for the one next to the corner. I reached it. And I could NOT believe my eyes!!! It wasn't a guy! I was like.. wow.. I got my a*** kicked by her in CS... girl on guy..! Just goes to show that everything that isn't common in the real world is probable in CS. (another reason why we love the game)

I sat down, but couldn't say anything, I was speechless. Her beauty captivated me. Her hair was shorter than mine. She had these fat glasses with lenses half an inch thick. I also noticed that she was gargling some colgate toothpaste foam, she forgot to spit it out! She was also nervous! Must be because she was so keen to make an impression on me! I was flattered.. I told her "This is love at first (head)shot". She said "blub..blurb..*THUUU*.. ahem. C 1". (You can still see a stain on the wall in that corner.. For those of you who contemplated its origin, I hope this satisfies your curiosity)
From there on, it was just like any other love story। We went out to Cnot and later proceeded to Shivganga. We both used lappies with a crossed LAN cable (using IP msgr for chatting) because we agreed that a virtual relationship is always better than a real one, at least to start off with. I tell you॥ I discovered a whole new definition of 'smileys'. In a month or so, we went to the next level. She added me on gtalk and orkut. She wanted to write a testimonial for me but I said no, small children are also there in my list, it wouldn't be prudent to expose them to all the gory details of our ..ahem..1on1 matches.


Our romance blossomed with all the sweet aroma of a Rafflesia, over the next 2 semesters. At the end of 3-2, due to some confusion, I put 4-1 off and she put 4-2 off in the PS options. But when the results came out I came to know that luckily, I got forced on..! So I rushed to tell her the good news on gtalk.. but there was an offline waiting for me. It read "tatte dahlink!! I got forced off!!! (yes, there is such a thing, that's the first and last time I've heard of it though). So we have one more semester together!" For the second time in my life (first time in IPC, scroll up) I was speechless. But this was probably because I was trying to lick the tear that made its way down my chin and was tickling my moustache. Anyway.. this was what fate (what a noob) had in store for us. :(

On the night before the last compre, we played 1v1 in all the maps in CS till it was time to go for the exam, the next morning. I cried out in desperation "We'll apply for a make-up na...!! Lets play some more...." But she brought me down to reality "You know I don't use makeup.. " So it was our last intimate moment together. I couldn't even bring myself to tell her goodbye properly after the exam, because she had already packed off her comp and couldn't come online. With a heavy heart (added to the rest of my already heavy body, this brought my weight to a healthy 0.1 tons) I went home.. with all intentions about forgetting about her and carrying on with my life.. but I got the news recently (on this reliable news-source blog) that some nooblet named R@G$ is going after her.. !

Let this be a warning to you.. r@g$ or sH@gs or whoever you are.. I'm coming. Soon. And it's gonna be F-ugly. Get away from my moksha. I already attained her.

Bhai hai bindaas..!!

Its high time we caught up with our very own bhai.. Alda bhai.. This finally happened on 2.34 during a dota match and it was bhai at his best...

1) Alda bhai......Kya haal hai ??
A) Bindaas..Apun tho kuch kar nahi raha.. Upar se kuch expect bhi nahi ki ja rahi hamse...

2) What is opinion about cs rite now in bits?
A) 'Endi ra,.. Thadi D***tunnav'.. dont act smart in front of me.

(Bhai was really pissed off that his interview wasnt taken earlier. An hr later and after a couple of MNBs in connaught, Bhai started off again.)

"Look dude, no matter what people say I am bhai and bhai is the best. Clans and players keep coming up but its bhai on top and bhai they worship."

Abt the low profile mantained by wicked "Well, thats us. Everytime we enter a pub server after a clan match, ppl rush to join it just to have a glimpse at us. I don't think anyone can imagine just how much of a goldfish bowl it is until you are in it. I, for example, am still the one who is most in demand and the way in which I just cope serenely with it is a lesson to you all. "

On viper he says,"He is not the hard-nosed control freak, everyone presumes to be. He is a realist, a pragmatist and is honest. If it isnt for his periodic outbursts, we would never have had control over the erratic endeavours of GamBIT in the first place."

As usual bhai said sumthin about crushing every1 like ants, TnT and 'CS-gossip' conspiring against him, rako being a cyborg and Visa practicing voodoo against him.
His final message was...
"I am bindaas " he shouted and stormed off

RaG$ sans CS

Following up on Rag$ giving up CS for the 'last' tym.. we met him in sac n he graced us with this interview. Rags is into philosophy since last week.
1) What made you leave CS finally
A) You see Moksha is the ultimate goal. CS is the means, not the end.

2) So, who is moksha n how is CS a means of attaining MOksha??
A) Moksha is a fourth yearite i have a crush on.
I saw her ogling TnT in my first year and i said to myself,"One day.."

3) So, wat happened?
A) WEll I managed to grab her attention initially, but then i came to knowt that ToD.Headshot has proposed to her and she agreed.

4)So, the match with CILF had nothing to do with it??
A) Well, til now I kept blaming my 2Gb comp with a graphic card for my performance. I had difficulty in seeing my fps,'Is it 39 or 33 fps'..
But now my backie Rakhi has made it clear that its actually 99 fps.

5) So wat is the new RaG$ upto??
A) In a couple of days,we have a clan-dissolving party of GB n all three generation players are goin to be der. Then I am gonna hibernate for a couple of days contemplating on the issues of the world.Then probably I will renounce my worldly pleasures n settle in ShivGanga.

Well, Good luck Rags .. All the best for the future

Ra[M]Bo's Twist of Fate

This just in...
A little known Ra[M]Bo wanted to express his anguish over EG dissolving... For those of u off the grid here are the details..
Evil geniuses was a mixed clan of 2nd yearites n third yearites of which Ra[M]Bo n Razor were a part of.
The exact reason for it dissolving isnt yet known..
One theory says, the overambitious 2nd yearites ditched EG for Wicked...History shows a pattern... They ditched a batchmates' clan for '2nd Innings' and that for EG.

A more interesting theory was that Razor n Ra[M]Bo couldnt agree as to who should camp in ct-spawn n opened ff, killing the remaining 3 teammates..
Razor said,"We had our highs n lows. But both of us are professional enough to forget the past and move on."

HkZ. Vs Cannibals (Badman Exclusive)

Our Correspondent contacted HkZ.Badman seconds ago, who was currently on his e-honeymoon, (a special feautre on "Is badman commited" to be published shortly) said "CS is for kids.. Grow up.. Learn Fiber Optics"
Now we couldnt figure out whether its fibero orr sum1 in fibero.

HkZ. Vs Cannibals

Pan Machia Local Flavour..
HkZ. defeated Cannibals...
dunno scores yet..
but HkZ.Nothing was dying to make a statement.
"I would like to thank all my fans who were behind me throughout this endeavour. I also like to makeit abundantly clear my FF was purely intentional. U see 4-5 is more of a challenge."
"Its a much bigger challenge to deal with the deploring insanity of our beloved clanmate. We also mourn his loss of common sense but at the same tym looking for a new recruit",said HkZ. $uN.
HkZ. Square was busy applying for makeup and couldnt make a statement

CilF Vs GB contd...

On the other hand CILF~Tran$ said."Its all about perseverence and planning"
Wen asked is it the end of GB, he said "GB Is a 3rd generation clan. We grew up watching Lak$h n $a$uke, They were our idols. I wouldnt go to the extent of saying its the end of GB but surely its the beginning"
CILF~Attilisatti said ,"I missed being on top but now ther is no stoppin me."
"Well, the boys showed a lot of positive energy on the field. We went out der n had fun and ultimately thats wat is important."CILF~Moon added.

CilF Vs GB

Pan Machia Flash News..
CILF crushed GB
Nuke: 16-10
Dust: 8-0(GB forfeited)....
GB->Rag$ had this to say,"I am quitting CS for the last tym."
"Now I realise it isnt abt graphic cards.. but general performance", GB->SpaWn added.
GB->Wolf said,"Its time for me to shift to dota."
Wonder wat alias he comes up with..
Dog in AOE, WOlf in CS,____ in dota.. w8 n see
GB->Hylarn aka Hype RAkh! was speechless but his gtalk status msg says "Contemplating SUicide".. Luks like an xtra holiday guys..!!